


Heatwave

by adoctoraday



Series: Josh Brolin Can Get It [2]
Category: Actor RPF, Josh Brolin - Fandom
Genre: Daddy Kink, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Hot Dad, Learning to Drive, Older Man/Younger Woman, Pining, Sex, Smut, Spanking, Teen Angst, Teen Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-07 15:38:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16856719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adoctoraday/pseuds/adoctoraday
Summary: Josh Brolin is the hot dad from next door who has your family over for barbecues during the summer time, wears those cheesy “Kiss the Cook” aprons and make terrible puns...he's also the source of your long term, unrequited crush, until one day, it's not so unrequited.





	1. Chapter 1

You moved to New Orleans when you were 15, angry and petulant at yet another posting in your father’s illustrious career with the Navy. You knew he was an important man, but moving every two years had taken its toll on your social life, your education, and your family. 

You hadn’t been sure what to think of when you had moved into a bright blue house surrounded by more greenery than you had ever seen–having grown up in the middle of the Arizona desert and the concrete jungles of DC and New York. 

But now you were kinda, sorta, starting to like it. 

It had personality. 

 

Looking out the window of the new house off base, you peered longingly over the fence into your neighbor’s backyard at the pool, wondering if they had kids your age that you might make friends with. 

“Mija?” 

Your mother’s voice rang up the stairs and you sighed, already knowing what she was going to say. 

“Si mama?” you called back, turning away from the window to scurry barefoot over the hardwood floors and peer down the stairs to where she was digging through her purse, her brightly colored scrubs tempered by a grey cardigan. 

She sighed heavily and peered up at you, “Has visto mis llaves?” she asked, already sounding tired before her 12 hour shift even started. 

“Hold on,” you muttered before turning and running to the bedroom she shared with your father, grabbing the keys from where she had inevitably left them the last time; on her dresser.

Running back to the stairs, you tossed them down to her, earning you a smile of relief, her shoulders relaxing as she clenched them in her fist and shook them, “Where would I be without you mija?” she mused, laughing softly. 

You grinned, “Probably a doctor ma,” you replied, the often trod joke that had she and your father not unexpectedly gotten pregnant with you, she would have gone on to be a doctor. 

Still, it never failed to make her laugh. She did, and shook her head at you. “Ok mija. Dinner is in the fridge. Dad will be home–” 

“Late,” you cut in, already knowing the drill. It was summer, and your father put more hours in when you weren’t in school so he could cut back and be there for sports or school events, though, there was some talk that he might have to deploy this year, something you tried not to think about. 

Your mother nodded and she gave you a brief smile, eyes worried for a moment, “You’ll be okay?” she asked, softening as she glanced around the still mostly empty house. 

 

Nodding, you gave her a reassuring smile, “Yea mom. I’m gonna finish painting my room and I’ll just put on music and watch Netflix. Totally fine.”

Reassured, she nodded and waved goodbye, shouting out a, “Te amo baby!” before the door slammed behind her. 

With a sigh, you went back to your room to do just what you had told your mom you would do–paint. When you had seen the blank white walls of the bedroom you had begged to be allowed to paint it whatever you wanted, and to your surprise, your parents had agreed. 

Now, as you poured out the emerald green into the tray, you shivered a little with excitement. Reaching over, you flicked on your Spotify and turned on the playlist you had specifically created for this before inhaling slowly and lowering your brush into the paint, eyes widening as the slick, viscous liquid coated it. 

Rolling off the excess, you approached the wall slowly and began, letting out a squeal of excitement at how amazing the color looked already. Slowly you worked, getting into each nook and cranny until all four walls were covered in paint.

With a satisfied sigh you set down the roller and put your paint flecked hands on your hips, grinning. _AWESOME_. Looking back at the aesthetic you had found from Pinterest, you checked the list of things you would need next to get the gold flecks into the walls. 

 

Carefully you opened the windows a little further to help speed up the drying–and keep you from passing out from the fumes ( _crucial_ )– before you went downstairs to heat up your dinner. 

As the microwave hummed you danced and sang along to the music, not caring if you were loud or off key. Spinning through the dining room and into the foyer, you belted out the lyrics to _Confident_ by Demi Lovato, taking a wooden spoon along as your microphone. 

Mid hip thrust, you heard a noise from the front door and spun, eyes widening when you found an older man and a girl about your age standing there, staring at you through the screen door. 

_Oh fuck_

Tucking the wooden spoon behind your back and scrambling for your phone to lower the music, you smiled nervously as you approached, tucking sweaty strands of your hair behind your ear as you did. 

“Uh, hi, can I help you?” you asked politely, gaze flickering from the man to the girl. 

The man was smiling at you, lips quirking in that way that you recognized from your own father–he was trying to hide laughter as he ran a hand through his hair.

 

“Hey there kid,” he greeted, voice low and smooth like velvet. 

“We’re your neighbors. I’m Josh,” he said, laying a hand against his chest to introduce himself before laying it on the girl’s shoulder, drawing her gaze up to him for a moment before she met yours again, “And this is my daughter Ellie. I met your dad a few days ago, but your momma has been too quick for me to say hey, so I thought we’d come over and introduce ourselves,” he told you. 

“R-right,” you agreed, stuttering slightly, nodding and glancing between the two. “Uh, which house is it?” you asked curiously, hoping against hope it was the one with the pool. 

Ellie spoke up this time, grinning, “The one with the pool. I was wondering if you wanted to come swim. It’s soooo _hot_ ,” she moaned, rolling her eyes in disgust and you laughed, nodding in agreement. 

 

“Uh yea, that would be awesome. I just warmed up dinner though,” you started–

“Don’t worry about that kiddo, bring it on over with ya!” Josh encouraged and gave you a wide, blindingly white grin. His dimples were deep and numerous and something in your belly grew warm and fluttery. 

Flushing a little, you nodded, “Yea, umm ok. Let me get my suit and I’ll be over,” you agreed. 

“Great!” Ellie declared, giving you a huge smile, her teeth too extremely white. 

God, these two were going to give you a complex. 

“See you soon kid,” Josh murmured, shooting you a wink over his shoulder as he ushered Ellie away from the front stoop. 

Again something warm fluttered in your stomach and as you watched him walk away you pressed your palm flat against it, wondering if you were just hungry, or if this was something else. 


	2. Chapter 2

That one dinner, that was all it took for you and Ellie to become best friends. Whether you were at school or each other’s houses, you were inseparable. 

She played tennis and you joined the debate team. You played basketball and Ellie joined the chess team. 

It was when the rumors at work finally turned into fact and your father faced deployment that your world came crashing down that winter, just before New Years. 

Your mother was working again and your father was on base preparing for deployment and everything felt like it was crushing down on you, your lungs unable to bear the weight of the world. 

Sprinting out of the house you ran through the side gate and around the pool, banging on the glass door to Ellie’s living room, heart thundering in your chest as you waited for her to answer the door. 

 _Come on Ellie, where the fuck are you?!_ you thought, dancing nervously in place, rubbing your hands over your arms even though it was a balmy 75 degrees out. 

You just couldn’t seem to get warm, not with panic and adrenaline coursing through your body. 

Shadows moved in the house and you peered closer, exhaling in frustration when you saw it was only Josh. He smiled faintly at you, the expression slipping into a concerned frown as he opened the door and saw how upset you were. 

 

“Hey kiddo, what’s wrong?” he asked softly, reaching out to cup your elbow and pull you inside. You didn’t even hesitate, just followed him, his gentle touch soothing you a little, helping slow your unsteady heart. 

Sniffling a little, you wiped at your eyes with the back of your hand and shook your head, “Is Ellie here?” you asked softly, voice plaintive and tremulous. She hadn’t responded to your texts…

Josh shook his head, thumb stroking your forearm where he still held onto you, “Nah sweetie, she’s with her momma, remember?” he murmured. 

You did, now that he said it. Ellie’s mom and dad were divorced–her mom lived in Orlando and she had gone there the day after Christmas to spend time with her mom. 

With this realization, the tears you had been struggling to hold back came flooding out, small hiccoughing sobs burning in your throat. 

Josh looked crushed, brow furrowing in concern as he tugged on your forearm and pulled you into a hug so tight it would have hurt, except it was the only thing grounding you and keeping you from feeling like you might be crushed under the weight of the world. 

Your hands clung to the back of his flannel shirt as you sobbed, face pressed into his chest and all you could do was cry. 

“Hush darlin, shh, shh, shh,” he whispered, one large hand stroking over your back as the other cradled your head. His cheek pressed against the top of your head and you felt enveloped, secure. 

Eventually your tears began to abate and your breathing slowed to something closer to normal. When it did, Josh slid the hand that had been stroking your hair to your cheek and tilted your chin up so he could peer down at you, brows furrowed in concern. 

“Alright now darlin, you had a good cry, now tell me what’s wrong,” he encouraged. 

Swallowing hard, you sniffled and blinked at the tears on your lashes and he huffed out a chuckled, his hand slipping away to pull a handkerchief out of his back pocket. 

Offering it to you with a warm smile, he lifted a brow and nodded, “Go on,” he urged, and you weren’t sure if he meant blowing your nose or telling him what was wrong, so you did both. 

Wiping under your eyes and blowing your nose hurriedly, you inhaled slowly, a little shaky still, and began. 

“My dad is deploying for a year,” you started and your voice grew tremulous again for a moment before you took a deep, sharp breath and steadied yourself. You looked up and found Josh’s eyes steady on you and he gave you a reassuring smile, the warmth in it making something in your chest squirm. 

“He’s leaving in two weeks, and, he can’t say where he’s going. He’ll be able to answer email once a month, but, what if,” you hesitated and glanced back up at Josh, biting your lip against the awful words. 

He peered at you and nodded, “What if something happens to him?” he guessed. Exhaling heavily in relief, you nodded and stared up at him intently, waiting to hear what he would say. 

 

His lips pursed for a moment and then he sighed, shaking his head, “I dunno kid. I’m not gonna lie and tell you some shit about how any one of us could get hit by a car or have a heart attack or get shot in some school shooting tomorrow, cuz that isn’t gonna make you feel any better about your dad leaving,” he murmured emphatically. 

You nodded a little and your lips twitched, barely hinting at a smile. Josh smiled softly at you and sighed, “I’ll tell you this. Your reaction is just about the same one your momma probably had, and probably the same as anyone else in your situation. So don’t feel like you’re outta the ordinary or wrong for feelin the way you do. Your dad’s a smart, tough man, and if anyone is going to come home, it’s him,” he reassured you, his ochre eyes peering into your hazel ones. 

The something wiggly in your chest fluttered and wriggled at the warmth in his gaze and you flushed a little, looking away as you nodded. “Yea, thank you Mr. Brolin,” you whispered. 

“Hey now, what have I told you about that?” he murmured teasingly, lifting your chin so he could smirk at you, eyes twinkling. 

Flushing darker, you smiled nervously, “Sorry. _Josh_ ,” you murmured, emphasizing his name. 

He nodded and grinned before sweeping you into another hug that left you breathless, your arms tight around his waist, fingers locked together. 

“And listen kid, you come on over whenever you need,” he murmured into your ear, his breath warm on the soft skin. “I’ve gotten pretty good at the girl talk. I can braid hair and watch chick flicks and talk about how boys are dumb,” he rambled teasingly, eliciting a loud laugh from you, his own chuckle low and rumbling against your chest. 

Pulling away, he held onto your elbows and peered down at you, as though he was checking to make sure you were ok. “Anyone home tonight?” he asked, casting a glance over your shoulder to the dark windows of your house. 

You hesitated for a moment and then shook your head, “Mom is working overnight and dad has to stay on base while he prepares for deployment. He only gets to come home for overnight twice a week,” you revealed. 

Josh sighed and shook his head, “Alright, well, why don’t you stay here. You can take Ellie’s room,” he told you. 

It only took a moment of thought before you agreed and when you arrived back at his house with an overnight bag on one shoulder, he was already waiting at the door, peering into the darkness for you. 

A low rumble of thunder came from overhead and he looked up, the taut expanse of his throat exposed as he stared at the gathering storm clouds. 

“Better get inside kid, storm’s comin.”

Two weeks after that your father deployed and life went on, not really normally, but, mostly so. Now when your mom worked late shifts, you stayed at Ellie and Josh’s.

When you had practices or meets, Josh showed up. 

It made your cheeks flush and your stomach twist to see him there, in the stands cheering for you as you played, but some part of you loved it. He would always be part of the swarm of parents rushing to congratulate or console their kids, and even though you weren’t _his_ , he still made as many games as he could. 

You and Ellie shared many things; crushes on boys, notes for classes and an affinity for milkshakes after a winning match–sporting or intellectual. So frequent were these outings that the diner you would stop at had the game schedule posted and the milkshakes waiting when you arrived. 

As spring crept closer and the end of school approached, dread began to fill your stomach. With no school, there would be no distraction from the fact that your father was gone. 

What would you do now?

* * *

It was nearly the end of the school year and everyone was signing up for their classes for the next year, chattering excitedly about driver’s ed, AP English versus AP Spanish and plans for the summer. 

Sighing, you looked down at the class selection list and shoved it in your bag–you didn’t have to make a decision until next week. Maybe you could talk to your mom when she got home tonight. 

Ellie bumped your shoulder with hers, “Hey, comin?” she asked, jerking her head towards the open doors of the school where students were hurriedly making their way towards buses and waiting parents. 

You nodded and followed her out onto the shimmering asphalt, the heat enough to make your makeup waver. Ellie was chattering excitedly about her new boyfriend–Sam–from the senior grade; how tall he was, how strong he was, how funny he was, when you glanced over at her, and cheeks flushing, asked, “So have you guys, you know…”

Ellie snorted and shook her head, “No. I’m waiting till this summer. Sam’s really cool about it actually. He’s only been with one other girl and he said he knows that it’s not great the first time. He said he wanted it to be good for me,” she told you conspiratorially and you both giggled a little, cheeks flushed from the heat. 

As you walked into Ellie’s house she sighed and shrugged off her backpack, tossing it onto the floor. “What about you? You dated that guy Alex for a few months, did you guys have sex?” she asked as she poured glasses of lemonade. 

You thought about lying and then shrugged, “I mean, not all the way. I gave him head and he went down on me.” You wrinkled your nose, “I’m not sure what the deal is…it didn’t do anything.”

Ellie groaned in frustration, “Oh my GOD, men are useless.”

“Why are men useless honey?”

You and Ellie exchanged wide eyed, panicked looks at the sound of her father’s voice approaching from the stairs. _Did he hear_ you mouthed, heart thundering in your chest, stomach in knots. 

Oh god, what if he had heard? What if he knew you gave a guy a blowjob? Something south of your belly warmed at the idea of him knowing, of him finding out and confusion swelled within you. 

Ellie just looked panicked and then smiled brightly as Josh walked in, “Hey dad. We were just talking about the boys in our grade. None of them asked us to the prom!” she lied, rolling her eyes exaggeratedly. 

Her father glanced between you both and then shook his head, smirking, “Good. I don’t want to have to watch you girls get all dressed up. I feel like an old man already.”

Ellie laughed and grabbed her backpack, leaning in to kiss his cheek, “Cuz ya are dad.”

He growled at her teasingly, “Ungrateful imp,” and she laughed as she danced away.

Josh chuckled softly and turned his gaze on you, “You upset no one asked you to the prom?” he asked, lifting a brow. 

“Not really,” you mused, and it was the truth, mostly. “There’s no one at the school I want to go with,” you told him. 

He lifted a brow, “So there’s someone you want to go with?” he asked curiously, a playful smirk on his full lips. 

“I…no. There’s just no one my age that knows how to keep my attention,” you told him. “They’re all immature and don’t know how to treat me.” You rolled a shoulder, “Whatever. I’m more worried about this stupid driver’s ed class.”

Josh frowned, “Why’s that?”

“Mom doesn’t have the time to teach me and everyone else knows at least a little,” you explained, face going stiff as you looked away, peering out the window at the glossy surface of the pool as you spoke, “my dad always promised he would teach me.”

You heard him take a step and then his hand was on your chin, lifting your gaze to his; his eyes soft and warm. “Hey kid, I’ll teach you,” you murmured. 

Warmth bloomed in your chest and the wriggling thing grew larger, curling around your stomach, making it harder to breathe properly without it tickling. “Really?” you asked breathlessly, eyes wide with hope. 

He chuckled and squeezed your chin, “Of course darlin. You and me, tomorrow mornin,” he promised, grinning widely. 

 

“It’s a date,” he murmured, giving you a wink before releasing your chin and edging around you to slip out the back door, his thickly muscular arm brushing against yours. 

_It’s a date…a date…date…_

Your skin sang where it had brushed against Josh’s and your stomach quivered, a heated flush running over your body. 

 _Oh god…I’ve got a crush on my best friend’s dad…._ the thought dawned slowly, equal parts horrifying and tantalizing. 


	3. Chapter 3

You looked apprehensively at the…truck? Jeep? Whatever it was, it did _not_ look safe. It wasn’t the usual vehicle that Josh took you to practice in; in fact, you hadn’t ever seen it before he had pulled it out of the shed at the back of his property. 

“You ready?” the man in question called from the driver’s seat, a dark pair of sunglasses covering his eyes as he grinned at you. 

“Uhhh…”

Ellie laughed at you from her spot on the porch and gave your shoulders a push, “Come on girl, I learned last year, it’s not hard. Dad is super cool and a good teacher, he’ll go easy on you,” she told you. 

You flushed as the intrusive thought crept in; _I bet he’s a good teacher…but what if I don’t want him to go easy on me?_  

“R-right, well, here goes,” you agreed before hurrying over and climbing in the passenger seat, feet knocking against the red metal tool case on the floor. As the vehicle roared away from the sidewalk you nudged it with your foot and frowned, “What’s that for?” 

Josh glanced over, “Needs an oil change. Figured I’d teach you how to do that too,” he told you, giving you a warm grin before turning his attention back to the road. 

_Right…let’s get hot and oily and oh god…this was NOT a good idea._

A bead of sweat ran down your neck and your thighs sweat where you pressed them together, heat aching between them as you tried to concentrate on anything other than the idea of a dirty, greasy Josh pinning you against the car and…

NO…nope…

“Okay so you’re going to have to concentrate to learn stick,” Josh murmured from beside you, leaning against the frame of the bars overhead as he instructed you, his white t-shirt damp in spots from sweat, distracting you. 

 

He reached out and tapped your left knee, your muscle jumping sharply at the touch. He grinned and patted your knee again, “Easy there kid, you’ll do great,” he assured you, completely misunderstanding the reason for your reaction. 

_Thank GOD._

_“_ So, you’ll use this foot to ease on and off the clutch and brake. Getting out of first gear and into second is probably the hardest part, but once you get a feel for it, you’ll get better,” he assured you. 

You bobbed your head, trying to pay attention as he explained the mechanics of the vehicle and shifting; it was actually pretty interesting, even if you didn’t fully understand everything. 

Eventually he swung himself onto the bench seat next to you and slid over until your hips were nearly touching, giving you a grin, “I can see the pedals better from here and tell you what to do,” he explained. 

You nodded unsteadily and clipped on your seatbelt before putting it into neutral and turning the engine over. Sweat made your palms slick against the wheel and you shifted your hands, waiting for him to tell you what to do. 

When he didn’t say anything you looked over and he grinned, “You got this kid. Tell me the first step,” he encouraged. 

Your mind felt like it had gone blank. “Uhhh.”

“One foot on the brake and the other on the clutch,” he encouraged gently, tapping each knee. 

Quickly you moved your feet to the right spots, looking up to find him smiling approvingly. Pleasure swept through you and suddenly, you remembered what you were supposed to do. 

You could feel when the clutch engaged and the gear took hold, allowing you to release the brake and accelerate slowly. Your hand was firm on the gear shift, confidence swelling within you as you palmed it. 

“Great job kid!” Josh crowed from beside you, crowding a little closer and slinging his arm behind you along the seat. Nervously you gripped the gear shift tighter, feeling it rattle a little in your grip, your stomach trembling with excitement.

Heat went through your body at how close your bodies were pressed and you lost your concentration, missing the moment when you should have shifting, stalling out the vehicle. 

“Fuck!” you growled, slamming a hand against the steering wheel before looking up sharply at Josh’s booming laughter. 

His eyes crinkled around the edges as he pressed a hand to his sternum, shaking his head, “Damn kid, I didn’t know you could swear like that,” he admitted. 

You flushed and nodded, “I don’t around my mom cuz she doesn’t like it. I didn’t think you would either,” you admitted. 

He shrugged, “Whatever kid, you’re 16 now, I think you’ve earned the right to say _fuck_ whenever you want.” He grinned, “Come on now, try again,” he encouraged. 

You took a deep breath and nodded, focusing your attention on the mechanics. This time it went smoother and soon you had the vehicle zipping around the abandoned mall parking lot. 

Josh laughed with delight and you glanced over at him, admiring the way the wind made his hair fly every which way and his skin looked like burnished copper in the golden rays. 

Eventually he guided you to a halt and had you practice reversing and parking before nodding and sliding his hand down from the back of the seat to grip your shoulder tightly, “You did it darlin, I knew you could.”

Shivering under his touch you looked up at him shyly, heat rising in your cheeks and for once you were grateful for the heat bearing down on you so it wouldn’t be so obvious as to _why_. 

When he pulled away your skin felt the loss like an electrical current had been applied and then removed–the tingle remained, but the sensation wasn’t quite the same. 

“Time to do an oil change,” he told you, grinning as he grabbed his tools. 

By the time you finished the oil change you were both hot, sweaty and greasy, but you felt an incredible sense of pride knowing that you could do these things now. 

Josh pulled down the tailgate of the vehicle and tossed the toolbox in before waving you over to clean your hands off with a rag, laughing as he used it to wipe at the smears of grease on your face. 

One of his hands held your chin and you stared into his face as he cleaned you off, brow lined in concentration. 

 _He’s so handsome_ you thought with a soft sigh, the sound catching his attention. His gaze lifted to yours and he softened, smiling faintly. “You thinkin bout your dad?” he asked gently, surprising you, because, really, you hadn’t been. 

You hesitated for a moment and then shook your head, giving him a faint smile in return, “No, actually. I was just thinking I have to do something to thank you for teaching me,” you murmured, biting your lip as a thousand inappropriate options came to mind. 

Josh scoffed and shook his head, “No way darlin. Come on, sit down,” he encouraged, slapping a hand on the tailgate. When you both were comfortable he pulled a small blue cooler forward and opened it, reaching in to pull out two sandwiches and to your surprise, two beers. 

Before he handed you one, he gave you a long appraising look, “Now listen, I’m not letting you drive back after having that. And I’m only giving it to you with food and in my presence. But I want you to know, I’m damn proud of you. Not just about today, but this whole time your dad has been gone so far. You’ve kept your shit together and worked goddamned hard and you’re more of an adult than some people I know.”

He popped the tops of the beers and handed you one, tapping his against yours, “Cheers darlin, here’s to you,” he murmured, smiling sweetly at you. 

You flushed and murmured a quiet thank you before taking a sip, enjoying the cool flush against your tongue, even if the flavor wasn’t your favorite. 

As you sat there, eating a sandwich and drinking a beer with him, you had the thought that this was the best non-date date you had ever had. 

* * *

Glancing around the party at the drunken teenagers surrounding you, you grimaced and lifted your red solo cup to sip again at the “jungle juice”, trying not to wonder at what exactly was in it. 

It tasted like vomity skittles. 

Swallowing down the last of it, you looked around to where Ellie was dancing with her boyfriend and smiled faintly, glad that she was enjoying the party. She was the only reason you were here–your big plans for the night had included a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a binge session of Black Mirror. 

But then Sam had texted you both about some party the seniors were having before they went to college in the fall, and all your plans for relaxing were shot to hell. 

Tugging at the hem of the dress you had borrowed from Ellie, you headed for the beer pong tables, determined to put some of your athletic prowess to use and have at least a little fun. 

Two hours later you were…well…drunk. And making out with someone. Who was he again? 

Pulling away you looked down and frowned at the face of the guy you were kissing, unease filling you when you didn’t recognize him. Clumsily you scrambled off him and looked around for Ellie, clutching your phone in the hopes it would help you find her. 

Eventually you found a bathroom that wasn’t occupied and texted her, waiting only a few minutes before you got a reply. 

  * _Heyyy girl, Sam and I went upstairs for awhile ;) We’re at his place, you ok?_
  * _Uhhh…little drunk…think I’m gonna call for a ride._
  * _Ok, so sry for bailing on u!!_
  * _NO worries…as long as you GOT SUM GIRL_
  * _GIRL PLZ…gonna get round 2 right now!_



You laughed at Ellie’s audaciousness and sent her a text to be safe and opened the Lyft app, frowning when you saw it would be a twenty minute wait. Of course, it was New Orleans on a Saturday night in June…the tourists were probably swarming the Quarter. 

With a sigh you leaned back on the toilet and stared up at the ceiling, pondering your options. 

Your mom was working…again. 

A Lyft was 20 minutes. An Uber was about the same. 

Slowly you realized what you were going to have to do. 

Lifting your phone back up, you dialed Josh. 

After a few rings he picked up, sounding sleepy and worried. 

“Hey kid, you okay?”

You nodded unsteadily and realized he couldn’t see you, “Uhh yeaaaa,” you sighed, drawing the word out. “So I went to a party and I had a little too much to drink and a Lyft is like twenty minutes wait, can you pick me up?” you asked hopefully. 

There was a long moment of silence and then a sigh. “Send me the address kid.”

When the line disconnected you texted him the address and hurried out of the bathroom, heading for the front door to wait. The guys at the beer pong table called out for you to come play and you hesitated– _maybe just for a minute?_

A minute quickly turned into ten and when Josh arrived you were _wasted_. Through your daze you could hear him scolding the boys for allowing you to drink more as he wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you upright.

Even that proved not to be enough for the state you were in and as he struggled to get you to the door, he growled something that sounded like, “C’mon darlin, work with me,” before he sighed and swept you off your feet and into his arms.

The world spun as he carried you, but his shoulder was reassuringly solid beneath your cheek and you pressed your face into his neck to breath in his scent.

“You…you smell good,” you told him disjointedly, nose brushing against his throat.

You could feel him hum for a moment in agreement perhaps before his hand at your thigh disappeared to do something and a moment later you were in a vehicle.

Josh tucked your seatbelt around you and clicked it into place before getting in his side and casting you a worried glance.

“You gonna throw up?”

You shook your head and curled toward him, smiling softly. He sighed in relief and when the vehicle pulled away your eyes began to close.

A hand landed on your thigh and you smiled tiredly, “Thank you for comin to get me Josh,” you murmured, words slightly slurred.

The grip on your thigh tightened and you sighed softly, enjoying the feeling .

“Of course darlin. We’ll be home soon,” he assured you, sounding worried. “Can you stay awake?” he encouraged, squeezing your thigh again. 

“Mmmmhmm,” you agreed sleepily, kicking off your heels to lift your feet onto the dashboard, eyes fluttering open to find his face. 

_He’s so handsome…I wish he saw me as more than a kid…I wonder what he would do if I moved his hand up my thigh…_

Your mind wandered along dangerous pathways, the heat in your veins syrupy and spreading slowly. Josh kept glancing over at you as he drove, smiling encouragingly as he talked, trying to keep you awake. 

“Seems like you were winnin at beer pong,” he murmured, turning onto your street. You nodded and grinned and he smirked, “I don’t think those boys know what to do with a girl like you,” he told you softly as he parked the car. 

As he came around the car to help you out, you swayed into him, high heels clutched in one hand, the other clinging to his– _holy shit so muscular-_ bicep. Peering up at him, you frowned, wrinkling your brow. 

“I’m not a _girl_ ,” you huffed, growing more annoyed at his amused smirk. 

“Oh what are you then?” he asked teasingly, “A cat? Should I call you kitten?” he teased, and fire lit in your belly at his tone. 

Pulling back unsteadily you glared up at him and poked him hard in the chest, “No! You should call me a woman because that’s what I fucking am! Those idiots don’t know what to do with me because they’re children.”

You softened and turned your chin up to him, searching his face for any sign he understood what you were trying to say and felt your belly sink when he only looked at you with the same fondness he always did. 

Exhaling sharply, you looked away and shook your head, “Never mind. You don’t care,” you muttered harshly, moving to brush past him. 

Josh made a noise of surprise and caught your arm, halting your progress. Determined not to look at him, you stared down at the asphalt as he spoke. “Hey wait darlin, I care about you. I care,” he reassured you. 

Scoffing, you tried to pull your arm away and he tightened his grip and a thrill of unexpected pleasure went through you at the display of strength. His other hand cupped your jaw far more gently and his voice was tender and emotional when he whispered, “Look at me.”

Swallowing hard, you looked up, feeling his touch like an electrical current racing through your body as he stared into your eyes. He shifted closer, barely any space between you now and your heart sped up, your body arching towards him unconsciously.

“I care about you darlin. You’re right that you’re more of an adult and a woman than most girls your age. You’re just…” he paused and shook his head, smiling faintly, “it’s hard to think of you growin’ up and leavin me behind. You and Ellie are goin off to college soon and I’ll just be a sad old man,” he told you, his voice rough by the time he finished, tears shining brightly in his eyes. 

Heart in your throat, you threw your arms around his neck, a huff of surprise leaving him before his arms wrapped around your waist and he hugged you back, your toes leaving the ground for a moment before they rested on the tops of his shoes. 

Turning your face towards his neck you inhaled his scent, so familiar, so comforting, and murmured, “I’ll always come back Josh. No matter what.”

You could feel it when his chest exhaled unsteadily and he made a soft noise that sounded almost like crying, his hands on you tightening. You remained that way until finally he released you and your feet slipped back down to the ground, your hands resting on his chest as you smiled affectionately at each other. 

“You know, you’re really not an old man,” you told him, smirking as you rose up on your toes to push your fingers into the lines between his brows, “not yet anyway,” you teased. 

Josh laughed and his hands on your waist flexed, pulling you a little closer. Your heart thundered at the continued proximity and you flushed, hoping the darkness would hide it. 

“Thanks darlin. I’m glad I don’t qualify for AARP yet,” he joked. 

You shook your head vehemently and grinned, “Nope. I know of at least three girls in school that think you’re cute,” you told him, flushing a little. 

 

He grinned and wrinkled his nose, “That’s flattering I suppose.” You nodded and after a moment the laughter died down, leaving you standing in the street in the dark. 

Shifting, you pulled your keys out of your purse and pointed to your house, “I should go, mom will be home soon and I haven’t seen her in a few days,” you told him. 

Josh nodded and glanced over his shoulder to the dark house, frowning a little. “You sure kid? I can text her and let her know you stayed with me,” he offered. 

It wasn’t like you hadn’t stayed there a million times before, but tonight, you wanted to be in your bed. You wanted to process your feelings and maybe get out your vibrator and imagine his large hands on you…

Clearing your throat you nodded and smiled tiredly up at him, “Yea I’m sure. Thanks for everything though Josh, really,” you murmured. Before he could wave it off like always, you leaned up, fingers clutching at his shoulders as you pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

You could hear his inhale of surprise and felt his fingers clutch your waist as your lips lingered for a moment before you pulled away and stepped back, smiling softly at him.

“Night Josh. Sweet dreams,” you murmured before turning and hurrying into your house. 

When you peered out the window from the pitch black interior of the house, he was still there, standing in the street, hands by his sides, staring curiously at your house like he had just had a revelation. 


	4. Chapter 4

With graduation just around the corner you were more nervous than you had ever been. Ellie and you had both been accepted to Tulane University, you for psychology, her for biochemistry, and after very little debate would be living together in one of the apartments on campus.

But first, you had to get your diploma.

You had your outfit laid out for the day; a bright yellow sundress with a square neck that would emphasize your warm sepia skin and keep you cool in the sweltering heat.

Instead of wearing heels or wedges like every other girl you had chosen sandals, knowing that standing and walking for so long would inevitably leave you exhausted.

Josh and your mom had promised that you guys would go for milkshakes after the ceremony though, so it would be something to look forward to, even without your dad.

His tour had been extended by a year, and as you put on your makeup for the ceremony, you paused to stare at his photo, heart aching. You wished more than anything he could have been there to see you graduate.

Sighing heavily, you blinked away the tears that had formed and sniffled, trying to keep your heart light. He’d be home in three more months, just in time to see you off to college.

It would have to be good enough.

You fidgeted as the names of your peers were called, one by one, their diplomas handed over with a smile and a pause for a photograph. With a last name starting with a Z, you were dead last to get your diploma.

At least you could cheer for your friends, you decided.

As your row was ushered towards the stairs you glanced at the rows of parent and families watching and caught the eye of your mom, your lips splitting in a grin when you saw her dabbing at her eyes already.

Josh was beside her, recording the whole thing on his phone, and waved to you when he saw you were looking. Quickly, you waved back and then turned back as the person ahead of you processed onto the stage.

When your name was called you concentrated on not tripping over the black gown that was three inches too long and seemingly determined to get caught on the stairs.

Looking up towards where the Dean was supposed to be, your heart stopped, so too did your feet.

“ _Dad?!”_ you whispered, stunned. 

 

He grinned at you, decked out in his dress uniform, holding your diploma and somewhere distantly you could hear people cheering. When your heart kicked hard in your chest you sprinted across the stage and into his arms which had opened wide to gather you, a sobbing cry of joy breaking in your throat as he lifted you from your feet.

“Oh honey,” he whispered, voice cracking as his tears fell.

Your hand clung tighter to the back of his uniform and you inhaled greedily, trying to take it all back in, every inch of this man who had been gone for _so long_.

Distantly you could hear people crying and cheering and you thought your dad might have been crying too, but after a few moments he pulled away and the only sign he had was a wet sheen to his cheeks.

Smiling so widely at you it must have hurt, he stepped back and tucked your diploma against his chest with one hand, his heels clicking together as he stood at attention, his other hand coming up to salute you solemnly.

Heart aching with joy, you quickly mimicked the stature and returned the salute before he relaxed and offered the diploma to you.

“Congrats mija,” he murmured over the cheers. 

* * *

“Oh fuck, oh, oh, yea, you’re so good baby!”

You moaned in agreement, even though the guy atop you wasn’t _really_ doing much for you. He had gone down on you for all of five minutes before thrusting into you, and with each minute, you were sure you were going to have to fake an orgasm.

As he grunted and screwed up his face you quickly did the same, making all the right noises so he thought he had gotten you off. When he collapsed on top of you, you pushed him off and went to the bathroom, body thrumming with need.

It would be another night with your vibrator and thoughts of Josh. 

* * *

“So, this is the new boyfriend, huh?” Josh mused, peering inquisitively at your boyfriend, lips turned down at the corners in a frown as he extended his hand in a greeting that didn’t seem so friendly to you.

Your dad called to your boyfriend from across the pool, waving him over to help carry food out for the barbeque. As he went, Josh was still frowning.

“He’s older than you,” he commented gruffly.

You snorted and sipped on your beer, nodding, “Yea, well, he’s a Teaching Assistant, he’s older,” you replied sarcastically.

Josh turned to eyeball you, mouth pursing in annoyance. “Has he dated students before?” he asked sharply.

Rolling your eyes you shook your head, “No. I asked.”

“What if he’s lying?” Josh pushed and you huffed angrily, stepping closer to try and contain your argument.

“Maybe he is! But we get along really well and he cares for me. He’s sweet and funny and he’s ambitious and he actually knows what he’s doing when he fucks me,” you snapped, glaring up at Josh challengingly, watching as his eyes widened in shock.

His mouth dropped open and then closed, his gaze flitting away as he lifted his beer to take a long swallow, his throat working hard. Clearing his throat, he nodded, “Right, well, that all sounds good,” he agreed quietly before he cleared his throat again and walked away, walking over to where your boyfriend and dad were putting burgers on the grill.

Frustration swelled within you; would he ever see you as anything but a kid?

* * *

Looking around in wonder at the lights of Tokyo, you grinned, so damned glad that you had decided to do a study abroad semester. It hadn’t been required at all, but some of the new thoughts of psychology were coming from Japan and you wanted to learn as much as you could.

When you went home this summer, you would only have one year left of college.

Taking pictures of the city and every amazing thing you saw, you saved them all to send in an email to Josh. When it had come time for you to leave, your parents had tried so hard to convince you not to go, but not him.

He had told you how amazing he thought you were to go do something so brave and exciting. Before you had walked towards security he had grinned softly and pressed a kiss to your cheek murmuring, “Go do big things darlin. Try not to forget about this old man though.”

Clutching his thick biceps you had turned your cheek to press against his for a moment before kissing his firm jaw, hearing his slow steady inhale as you whispered, “I could never forget you.”

When you looked back from the other side of security, he was still there, hands in his jeans pockets, watching you.

You shared a short, sweet smile before he lifted a hand free and waved abruptly, and then, as a crowd of people passed, he was gone. 

* * *

Rolling your suitcases through the airport, you grinned when you saw the large group of people waiting with a huge sign, your name bedazzled and glittery. Ellie shrieked and shoved the balloons she was holding at your mom before sprinting towards you, nearly knocking you over in her fearsome hug.

Laughing loudly, you dropped your duffle bag and hugged her back, running a hand over her hair and marveling over the height she had grown and the light streaks in her hair.

Soon you were enveloped in hugs from your dad, mom and Josh, everyone pressing kisses to your cheeks and marveling over how good you looked, despite being exhausted and travel weary.

Your bags were distributed and when you were in the backseat of your parent’s car with your head resting on Ellie’s shoulder, your eyes began to drift shut. By the time you made it back to your house you were half asleep and dazed as your parents carried your bags inside.

Josh took up the rear as Ellie guided you upstairs, chattering excitedly about a party she wanted you to go to that night. Sitting down on your bed, you smiled tiredly up at her as your parents retreated and Josh joined them downstairs, leaving you two alone.

“It’s going to be awesome!” she declared, “You know the guys from Tau Alpha? They’re hosting it!”

You smiled weakly and nodded, “It sounds fun El, but I’m jet lagged as fuck right now. I think I’m going to go to bed and just try to sleep it off, okay?” you murmured softly.

She gasped and nodded, sinking down onto the bed beside you, taking your hand, “Oh my god of course. I’m so sorry. It’s their thirsty Thursday party, so it’s just like any other. Maybe if you’re feeling better tomorrow night we can go out, just you and I?” she suggested, looking hopeful.

You nodded, giving her a weak smile, “That sounds good.”

Sighing in relief, she hugged you tightly before pressing a kiss to your hair and standing. “You should take a shower, have something to eat, and sleep,” she advised, “You look fuckin tired.”

Laughing tiredly you nodded, eyes already heavy. When the door shut, you crawled beneath the covers and fell asleep, so happy to be home you had a smile on your face.

* * *

Standing in the club with Ellie, you were really starting to regret going out. You were still tired, but you had promised you would go out, and now that you were here, it just didn’t feel like the right place to be.

Sighing, you watched as Ellie chatted up a guy that you thought was objectively pretty hot, but you didn’t _really_ see the appeal in. After a few more hours of dancing and drinks, Ellie was apologizing for leaving with the guy, and you were heading home in a Lyft.

When you pulled up in front of your houses you waited till the Lyft was gone to move towards either house, pushing open the gate of your front yard. Sighing as you looked up at the dark, empty house, you glanced over at Ellie and Josh’s house and wondered if he was still awake.

You parents had planned a vacation together that started two days after you got home–the cheapest flights they had told you–and you were actually happy for them. After so many years apart, they finally had the time off together without either job interrupting.

Pulling your heels off, you walked over to the gate to the pool and pushed it open, smiling at the squeak. No matter how many times Josh W-D40′d the damn thing or replaced the hinges…it always squeaked.

Glancing towards the house, you sighed when you saw it was dark too. Sitting down at the pool edge, you slowly lowered your feet in, sighing in relief at the temperate sensation.

Leaning back on your palms, you swung your feet through the water, peering up at the sky through drink hazed vision. You hadn’t had much, just enough to be buzzed a little, a warmth in your blood that felt _good_.

The sound of the patio door opening pulled your attention away from the sky overhead to where Josh was emerging in his grey t-shirt and cotton pants, his hair delightfully ruffled from sleep. 

 

“Hey darlin,” he greeted, smiling sleepily at you, “thought you were out with Ellie?” he asked, voice gravelly.

You nodded and looked back down to your feet, kicking them through the water as he sat down next to you, rolling the legs of his pants up before slipping his in beside you.

“She met someone,” you supplied, rolling a shoulder. “I was tired anyway.”

His elbow nudged yours and you glanced over to find his gaze filled with concern, “You okay?” he asked quietly, “You happy to be home?”

Nodding, you shrugged and then sighed, looking up at the stars. You could see him do the same beside you and to your surprise he didn’t ask anything else as you gathered your thoughts.

“I guess…it’s just so different being home. It feels like things don’t change here,” you admitted.

Josh laughed softly, “Things changed, you saw the news,” he murmured.

You nodded, lifting your brows.

“What about your boyfriend, that teaching assistant?” he asked, sounding unhappy.

Looking down from the stars you turned to peer at him and found him staring at the water. “We broke up before I left. He was sleeping with a freshman. You were right,” you admitted reluctantly.

He scoffed and you saw his hands clench into fists in his lap, his head turning to the side so you couldn’t see his face. “I’m sorry darlin. You deserve a better man than that,” he told you.

“I deserve a _man_ ,” you agreed, “I deserve someone emotionally mature and sure of who they are. Someone who knows what they want in life and from a relationship.”

Josh nodded and glanced over at you, “You always said you didn’t like boys your age,” he murmured, smirking faintly.

You nodded and lifted a foot out of the water to watch the drops pearl and run down your skin. Beside you, you could feel his eyes on you too, and in a pique of playfulness you flicked the water towards him.

Josh flinched and then laughed softly, “Don’t start that shit, I thought I broke you and Ellie of that a long time ago,” he joked.

Turning towards him you grinned and trailed a hand through the water, watching as his eyes followed it. “You might have stopped me, but you _never_ broke me,” you told him, your voice far huskier and laced with innuendo than you had meant it to be.

Something flickered in Josh’s eyes and he leaned forward to smirk at you, scant inches separating you now.

“Go on, I dare you.”

* * *

I stared into her eyes, watching as she contemplated the challenge for a moment, her pupils wide and dark. I could see in the hollow of her throat how her pulse thrummed and something in me wanted to reach out and trace my fingertips over it, to feel that hot rush of blood and electrical impulses beneath my hand.

I didn’t understand these emotions, these drives.

Ever since she had brought home that miserable excuse for a boyfriend from college I had been frustrated and anxious, constantly wondering if he was treating her right, if she was happy.

It wasn’t the same as when she had been a kid–no this was something else, and I was pretty sure I knew what it was…even if I didn’t want to admit it.

When her hand flashed forward and splashed me with water, I laughed and sputtered, leaning in to retaliate, using both hands to splash her with water. When we finally called a truce, water dripped from my hair and her cream colored dress was plastered to her skin–completely see through.

Blushing, I rose to my feet and offered her a hand, “Come on, let’s get you into something dry,” I offered. She stared up at me, eyes wide and dark, her makeup smudged around the edges.

After just a moment she took the hand and let me pull her up, her palm soft against mine. Instead of letting it go, I held onto it, relishing the warmth, the silky heat.

When we approached Ellie’s room she paused and shook her head, “Ellie is a little shorter than me, can I borrow something from you?” she asked, peering up at me through the gloom of the hallway.

“Uh yea, sure,” I murmured, tugging on her hand to lead her to my bedroom. Once inside I let her go and crossed to my dresser, hurriedly pawing through until I had found a flannel shirt and shorts that would work for her.

Turning around, I found her standing close–too close. My stomach fluttered and I took a half step back, trying to get my head under control as I offered her the clothes.

She took them with a small smile before turning away and looking at me over her shoulder, pulling her hair aside. “Can you help me with the zipper?” she asked, voice barely a whisper, and I felt it like a match to my blood, lighting the blaze had been trying to avoid.

Swallowing hard, I clenched my hands at my sides, fighting the urge to do as she asked and pull the zipper down.

_Why? It’s just a zipper! You’re not doing anything wrong…but I want to…I want to take that dress off her and touch every part of her body and I can’t because it’s not OK._

The internal battle raged and I inhaled raggedly, my gaze locked on hers. She didn’t look away, instead, she reached a hand back towards me, a pleadingly sultry look in her eyes, as though she _needed_ me as she whispered, “Josh.”

My resilience snapped and I stepped forward, fingers trembling a little as I slid the zipper down her spine, watching as her silky skin was revealed.

Fingers trailing behind it, I felt the shudder run over her skin as my breath hit her skin.

“Beautiful.”

* * *

You shuddered in disbelief.

Was this actually happening?

Was Josh _actually_ undressing you?

This had to be a wet dream. You were totally going to wake up in your bed with soaked underwear and a throbbing ache in your pussy because there was no way this was real.

His hands pushed at your dress until it slid down to the floor, leaving you in just your bra and underwear and maybe…maybe this was real.

You shivered again and his hands were gentle when they turned you towards him, his eyes soft and warm with equal parts desire and concern.

“Are you okay darlin?” he asked, one large palm cupping your cheek gently.

That warm, wiggling thing that had been in your chest for years made its presence known again and you inhaled unsteadily, tears threatening for some reason.

Maybe it was because you had wanted this for so long.

Maybe it was because of the way he was looking at you.

Maybe it was because you had loved him, for as long as you had known, even when you didn’t know it was _this_ kind of love.

“Y-yeah,” you gasped, nodding jerkily, lips quivering into a smile. “I’m okay,” you assured him. When he still looked concerned, you stepped closer and slid your hands under the hem of his soaked t-shirt, letting your palms connect with his stomach like you had imagined so many times.

He inhaled sharply and you pushed gently at the shirt, lifting until he shifted so you could remove it. His gaze was dark as you reached for his cotton pants, and when your fingers went to the drawstring, he grabbed you, pausing your forward motion. 

 

“I-you should think about this,” he murmured, voice gravelly and uncertain.

Frowning, you tilted your head to study him, “Why?”

He ducked his head and then looked back up at you, giving you a resigned, abashed smile, “I’m not young anymore darlin. I can’t keep up like those boys you dated. Things, they aren’t the same,” he murmured, sounding almost embarrassed.

Nodding slowly, you tugged on your wrist and he let you go, looking relieved and disappointed at the same time. When you reached back to unhook your bra and drop it to the floor, his eyes grew wide, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides rapidly.

Pushing at his shoulders, you guided him until his knees hit the bed and he sat down abruptly. Following him, you straddled his lap, biting back a moan as nearly every fantasy you had ever had came true.

Running your hands over his bare, muscular chest, you rolled your hips into his, letting out a breathy moan. Josh’s eyes locked on yours, his lips parting as he breathed out unsteadily.

Lowering your head, you wound an arm around his neck and up the back of his head to tangle your fingers in his hair, tugging on it like you had always imagined, his low groan eliciting an excited roll of your hips before your lips met his.

It started slow. Curious. Learning.

Then…he grew confident and his hands slid to pull your hips against him, one of his large palms flat against your back as his mouth _devoured_ you.

Moaning excitedly, you rolled your hips into him, feeling his erection growing beneath you. When he rocked his hips into you steadily, you moaned at the sensation, panting against his mouth desperately, “More, _please_.”

Before you knew it, he was gripping you tightly and rolling you onto the bed, hips rolling into yours as his lips pressed along the column of your throat. You gasped loudly as his teeth pulled your skin and he sucked, the sensation throbbing and pulsing through your belly.

Whimpering, you bucked into him, desperate already for more. “Please, please,” you gasped.

He chuckled against your breastbone and shook his head, “Patience little one,” he entreated.

Before you could reply his mouth was on your breast, lips brushing along the soft skin and teasing you. Fire raced under your skin, the inferno growing with each touch.

Teeth marking the tender skin of your breast, he carefully licked over the spot, chuckling when you whined and rolled your head against the mattress, arching your body up, aching for more.

“You’re so needy little one,” he breathed, thumb ghosting over your nipple. Pleasure ached under his touch and you nodded, gasping out another _please._ He complied and continued lightly grazing your nipples until you were shaking, writhing and begging for more.

“Please Josh, I need…I need…”

He hummed and took one nipple into his mouth, sucking hard.

“Ahhhhh!”

He continued until the pleasure was so acute it was almost painful and when he released the nipple you gasped, whether in relief or dismay, you could no longer tell.

There was no hesitation before he took the other between his lips and did the same, one of his large hands pushing down on your hip as you cried out loudly, trying to buck into him and get some friction for release.

It was right there, you were dancing on the razor’s edge and you just needed a little more…

Josh squeezed the tip of your nipple between his teeth and captured the other with his thumb and forefinger, growling as you arched and let out a broken cry of his name, a shiver of a tiny release running through your body.

When he let go, you gasped loudly, chest heaving, rubbing your thighs together desperately. Digging your fingers into his hair, you yanked his mouth to yours and swallowed his moan, barely able to breath let alone kiss him, but god, _god_ , you needed him to know how good that had been, how much it had meant.

He pulled away so you both could breathe and you panted, reaching down to grab his ass and pull him against you, whimpering. “I need you, please, _please_ ,” you begged.

Josh nodded unsteadily and rose to his knees before sitting back to pull off his pants, tossing them aside. Before you could really even take him in, he was leaning down and pulling off your underwear, tossing those aside too.

When you met his gaze, it was dark, hungry.

“You’re so wet little one. Is that all for me?” he asked and you nodded eagerly, arching your hips towards him in invitation.

He grinned slowly and you didn’t know how, but even more heat curled in your belly. There was something so fuckin dark and dirty about that possessive look on _his_ face that just _did it_ for you.

His large hands pushed your thighs apart and one of his fingers trailed through your soaked folds, a soft wet sound coming from them at the touch. “Oh baby,” he moaned, “I’m gonna eat this pussy up,” he told you before he leaned down, going onto his belly and drawing your legs up over his shoulders.

“Oh _fuck_ ,” you moaned, watching as he kissed your thigh, and then moaned louder as his tongue swept over your folds and over your clit. His fingers dug into the flesh of your thighs as he sucked your soaked lips into his mouth, tongue sliding between them.

Your own whimpers and moans were nothing compared to the hungry groans coming from him as he fucked his tongue into you, his strong hands holding you down when your hips shivered in delight.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh Josh, please,” you gasped, feeling another, stronger orgasm building.

As he continued to fuck his tongue into you his thumb stroked over your clit, rubbing firm circles until you were gasping and clutching at the sheets, heart thundering in your chest as you clung to the precipice, barely hanging on.

He pulled his mouth away and you whined at the loss, his thumb slowing so it wasn’t enough to get you there.

“Come on little one, come on my tongue,” he ordered and then delved back in, tongue replacing his thumb and two fingers thrusting into you. Your wail of pleasure seemed to please him and he quickly found the rough little spot that so many other men had struggled to locate.

Within moments you were incoherent, shaking and sobbing out his name, your voice one long wavering wail. You could feel it coming, and it was like fire in a tidal wave, unstoppable–and you weren’t sure you would survive, because who could?

As it crested you tossed your head and wailed into the crook of your elbow, thighs shuddering as a rush of wet came from between your thighs.

Josh groaned and lapped at your pussy, eagerly licking until you were shaking and weak. Slowly, he kissed up your body, nipping and sucking at your skin, leaving marks as he went.

His lips closed over yours and you met his kiss eagerly, not caring that he tasted like your cum. Wrapping your legs around his hips you rocked into him, moaning when you finally felt his cock against you.

“Please,” you begged against his lips, ”Please I need you.”

He nodded and rocked back a little, taking your hand from his bicep to where he rested between your thighs. Your fingers tangled together as he guided you to grip him, letting out a groan.

His gaze met yours and he grinned, “I got a vasectomy after Ellie, but we can still use a condom if you want,” he offered gruffly.

Leaning up, you kissed him and shook your head. “I’m clean, as long as you are?” you murmured, sighing in relief when he nodded. With that, you turned your gaze to where his cock rested in your grip and rubbed your thumb over the swollen, reddened tip, eager to have its thick length inside you.

Guiding him to your wet entrance, you both groaned as his thick head slipped in. Falling back to your elbows, you watched as he pushed in, moaning as his thick cock spread you open.

“Fuck, oh my god, that’s so good,” you gasped, head falling back as you breathed unsteadily. When you looked back up Josh’s face was screwed up in concentration and he was moving slowly, steadily as he withdrew and then thrust in slowly.

Whining softly, you reached out to grab his thigh, squeezing at the thick muscle there until he paused and looked at you, sweat beading on his brow. Smiling at him, you leaned up and huffed as the angle rubbed _so good_.

“You don’t have to be slow or gentle,” you told him, lifting a brow.

His own brows rose and he grabbed you by the back of the neck, holding onto you as he fell forward, letting his weight onto you, pressing you into the mattress.

“Oh yea little one?” he growled, sucking a spot onto your neck, “You want me to fuck you hard?” he demanded and you moaned, nodding.

“Show you how a man fucks?” he ground out, as he rolled his hips, grinding them into you so he was deep, deeper than he had been before and you saw fucking stars.

“Oh yea…oh, fuck, make me yours,” you begged, clinging to his broad back, nails digging into his skin.

Josh groaned loudly and snapped his hips into yours, his thrust hard. Your answering moan seemed to give him what he was looking for because he adjusted your thighs around his hips and picked up the pace, fucking into you so hard you could distantly feel yourself sliding up the mattress.

 _Yesssss…oh my god…perfect…._ your mind was a desire clogged haze, and you were moaning his name nearly constantly, but god, was it good.

Distantly you could feel an orgasm building, but you almost didn’t want it, you just wanted this…even as your lungs burned and your body seemed to throb for release.

Nothing in your brain seemed to work and your mouth was just a mess of pleading nonsense until…

“Oh god, daddy, please, fuck, please, _harder_!”

Josh slowed and then stopped, pulling back to stare down at you, his expression shocked and aroused.

Your stomach dropped and you hastily scrambled away, “I, uh, should I not have?” you asked hesitantly.

He stared at you and then reached out, fingers brushing over your cheek, shaking his head. “No, it was perfect,” he assured you, voice gravelly with need as he leaned towards you.

His lips were on yours a moment later, his mouth hungry as he groaned and gripped your waist tightly. Pulling back he eyed you hungrily, “On your hands and knees,” he ordered.

With a needy little whimper you complied, arching your back towards him, hips swaying slightly. When he didn’t touch you or enter you again you looked over your shoulder to find him staring at you, awed.

“Daddy, please, I need you,” you whimpered, arching towards him, giving him a pleading look.

He met your gaze and the awe disappeared, replaced with a smirk. “I know little one. Patience,” he encouraged.

You moaned and dropped your head, “Don’t tease me,” you muttered.

There was a soft swooshing noise and then a _crack_! followed by a sting of pain across your ass, eliciting a sharp gasp from you. Hastily, you looked back at Josh as the pain diffused into heat and spread, and suddenly, you didn’t mind so much that he had spanked you.

“Daddy,” you breathed, your gaze holding his, and he grunted, palming his cock for a moment before he rubbed a hand on your ass, soothing you.

“I’ve got you little one,” he murmured before he dealt out more strikes to each cheek, his blows solid and the heat lasting. When he had done ten you were shaking and you could feel your pussy clenching around nothing, desperate for something to fuck.

“Please, fuck me,” you begged, pleading with him over your shoulder.

He was breathing unsteadily, and moved quickly, as eager as you were it seemed. His cock slipped against your slippery folds before he thrust in slowly, his large palm at the small of your back comforting.

You both moaned as he began thrusting again, one hand on your hip, the other winding your hair in his grasp and pulling so your back was arched. As his thrusts gained speed you moaned louder and louder, fingers digging into the mattress.

“Fuck! Yes daddy! Oh god, like that!”

“Oh god little one, you feel so good!”

Josh groaned as your pussy clenched and fluttered around him, an orgasm passing like lightning so neither of you were prepared. He thrust harder, seeming determined to fuck you into the mattress and you wailed with pleasure, loving it.

You had pictured this for years, and maybe it was wrong, but goddamn it felt so fuckin _right_.

Josh thrust into you hard and stopped, eliciting a loud groan from both of you as he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you upright, your back against his chest.

Nudging your thigs apart, you could feel him nod against your shoulder, “There you go little one, just like that,” he encouraged, using his other hand to spread you wider.

Whimpering at the stretch– _it burned so good_ –you rolled your head back onto his shoulder as you sank further down onto his cock. Josh slid his hand up your slick belly, his forearm resting against your breastbone as his large hand circled your throat loosely.

“Come on now, I want you to come all over my cock,” he growled in your ear and you moaned, nodding in agreement, rolling your hips eagerly.

A moment later you were crying out as he thrust harder than he hand been before, his arm holding you down at the waist, keeping you in place as he slammed his cock into you.

The pleasure was so all consuming you felt drunk, unable to move, only hold on desperately to the arm around your waist as he plowed into you.

“That’s it little one, just take it. I’ve got you,” Josh growled, his mouth right next to your ear. His hand at your throat reached up to turn your head so he could kiss you and you lazily returned the gesture, drunk on the taste of him, the feel of him surrounding you.

Pressing his forehead into your temple, he grunted as he thrust, groaning loudly. “Oh fuck little one, I’m gonna come,” he rasped and you moaned, digging your fingers into his forearm.

His grip changed and he slid his hand at your waist down to where you were joined and began rubbing on your clit, his groan loud in your ear as your pussy clenched around his cock.

You didn’t even have the energy to cry out anymore, each breath felt like fire. “Oh…oh daaaaaddy,” you moaned, shaking in his arms as your orgasm rolled forward, unstoppable.

Josh groaned your name and his thrust grew harder as his fingers rubbed your clit, both of you so close. His fingers at your throat tightened until your breath was just a little harder to draw and the tension in your body snapped.

Spine arching, the sound of his cock slamming into you grew wetter with the sound of your release, and you could feel it coating your thighs, dripping down over his.

“Josh…oh yes…daddy, Josh,” you gasped, trembling in his arms as he groaned loudly, hips stuttering as he came, thick hot ropes of cum coating your pussy. As his thrusts slowed you could feel it trickling out and trembled, the aftershocks of your release still hitting you.

His arms were still around you as you collapsed together onto the mattress, his large body covering yours, one knee between your legs as your pulse pounded through every inch of your body.

The sound of your mutual heavy breathing filled the room, and you could feel Josh’s heart beating rapidly against your back, his breath panting against the sweaty skin of your back.

When chills began to run over your skin from the chill, Josh rolled off you and pulled the sheets up around you both, his face soft with concern. “You ok darlin?” he asked softly, running his fingers over your jaw and pushing sweaty strands of hair out of your face.

Pleasure warmed that spot in your chest and you nodded, turning your cheek into his touch, “Yea I’m perfect,” you told him, reaching out to lay a hand on his waist, “I’d be better if you came here and kept me warm,” you murmured softly, smiling shyly at him.

He smiled warmly and slid closer, wrapping you in his arms, and you tucked your head under his chin, sighing in contentment. His large hands spread over your back, rubbing soothing circles as he made a soft humming sound.

“Are you ok?” you asked, tilting your chin to peer up at him curiously, hopefully.

Josh inhaled slowly and then nodded, smiling softly. “I wasn’t…I didn’t expect this,” he told you quietly, “I never thought of you like this when you were a kid,” he reassured you, looking worried. “I’m not a pervert.”

He looked surprised when you laughed, brow furrowing in confusion until you laid a hand on his cheek and explained, “I know Josh. I was the one who wanted you, I always did,” you told him.

You frowned for a moment and bit your lip, “Do you regret this? I mean, is it just a one time thing?” you asked, almost too scared to hear the answer.

Josh looked like he was pondering the situation for a moment and then shook his head, “No darlin, I don’t regret this. Even if I never expected it, I don’t regret it. And I certainly don’t want it to be just once,” he told you, looking at you just as nervously as you were peering at him.

“What do you want?” he asked.

You leaned in and kissed him softly, fingers twining through his hair as you held onto him, lips curling into a smile as you pulled away, “I just want you,” you whispered.

You could feel him smile too and buried your face into his neck as his arms tightened around you. When your phone buzzed a few minutes later, you rolled over to dig it out of your purse, holding the sheets to your chest as you read.

Ellie had texted.

  * **_Hey girl, I’m sorry I bailed on you earlier. I’m on my way home, you want to have a sleepover and eat ice cream and just talk?_**



You stared at the screen for a minute and Josh sidled up behind you, arms wrapping around your waist as he nuzzled at your neck, placing soft kisses to your skin.

“What’s up?” he asked quietly, peering over your shoulder at the phone.

“Ellie’s on her way home,” you told him and felt him stiffen.

Turning to look him in the eye you swallowed hard, “What are we going to do now?” you asked.

You could see a range of emotions flitting over his face before his jaw firmed and he gave you a determined look, eyes warm. His fingers curled around yours and he brushed his knuckles against your jaw, smiling softly. 

When his lips met yours, contentment filled your chest and you pulled him closer, determined to never let him go. 


	5. Chapter 5

As the last class of the day wrapped up you sighed in relief. Next week was exams and then you were flying home to spend Thanksgiving with your family. Gathering up your notebooks, you chatted with a friend about the lecture as you pulled on your fleece lined leather jacket and slung your satchel over your shoulder. 

You were still unused to the chilly weather here in Pittsburgh , but you had to admit that the mountains surrounding the university were breathtaking as fall deepened. Deep crimsons, fiery oranges and brilliant yellows all shone together in the sunlight and shimmered in the rain.

 

You weren’t sure which was your favorite, though the smell of the leaves after it had rained awoke something primal in you, something that longed for dirt beneath your toes and sunshine on your skin. 

As it was, the sky overhead as you emerged from the building was grey, a sure indicator that it would rain again sometime today. Your friend waved goodbye and in the crush of people you heard another woman exclaim, “Holy shit, who is the hottie dad on the motorcycle?! I’d love to ride _him.”_

Some part of you thought for a moment, hoped really, that it was Josh, but you knew better—he didn’t have a motorcycle. As the crowd cleared you craned your neck and peered toward the curb, trying to get a look at the supposed hottie. 

Dark hair, leather jacket, jawline made to weaken knees. 

Your heart stuttered in your chest and when his eyes met yours you let out a gasp, not realizing you had been holding your breath. “ _Josh”_ you breathed and his eyes warmed, seeing his name form on your lips.

 

Pushing through the crowd you hurried down the steps, boot heels clattering on the wet slate. Josh slid off the bike and took a large step towards you, arms opening just in time to catch you as you landed in his embrace. 

Tears burned in your eyes as you buried your face in his neck, arms wrapped firmly around his shoulders. Inhaling greedily you made a soft noise of pleasure at the warm, familiar amber and tobacco notes of his cologne mixed with the leather of his jacket. 

Some part of you wanted to wrap that jacket around you and have every inch of your body submerged in that scent so it never left your nose. “What are you doing here?” you finally managed to whisper, pulling back to look up at him, smiling softly and wiping at the tears that had leaked out. 

Josh frowned a moment and rubbed his thumb under your eye, “Don’t cry darlin,” he murmured, and his voice too was rough and unsteady with emotion. 

“I’m just happy you’re here,” you told him throat catching as more tears threatened. You took his hand and squeezed tightly, smiling brightly at him, “So happy,” you reassured him. 

He nodded and smiled softly, squeezing your hand back before he sat on the edge of the seat, pulling you to stand between his outstretched legs, your hand still in his. “You done with class?” he asked, and at your nod, smiled proudly, “I’ve been trying to keep track of your schedule so I could plan a surprise visit,” he told you softly, “I missed you too much to wait till Thanksgiving.” 

You nodded firmly in agreement and he grinned, “Besides I’m a greedy man. I want to spend time with you where I can hold you and kiss you and touch you like I wanna,” he murmured and heat bloomed in your belly. 

“Why don’t we go to my apartment then,” you suggested, stepping forward so your thighs touched his and he had to tilt his chin a little to look up at you. 

His lips curled into a grin and he nodded, “You got the best ideas darlin.”

Wind rocketed past your face as Josh revved the engine and the motorcycle roared up the hill, droplets of rain splattering against your skin. By the time you made it to your apartment you were damp and chilled, eager for the warmth of a cozy blanket and Josh’s arms.

Taking his hand as you climbed the stairs, you shot him a grin over your shoulder, feeling buoyant with joy. His fingers tightened around yours and when the door shut behind you, he looked around your one bedroom apartment with interest. 

“Looks good darlin,” he murmured, sounding impressed. 

“Yea?” you hesitated, “you like it?” 

Hand woven rugs covered cool spots on the hardwood floors and warm sienna curtains glowed in the afternoon light. Hurriedly you went around the small living room, lighting candles and fussing with blankets and trinkets until he stepped forward, grabbing your hand to halt your progress.

Smiling affectionately down at you, he brushed a hand over your hair and glanced around the room once more. “I love it darlin. It’s quirky and beautiful, just like you,” he murmured, thumb stroking your cheek. 

Heart swelling, you tossed your arms around his shoulders and buried your face in his neck again, internally cursing your emotions as you struggled against tears once more. Once you had taken a few deep breaths you released him and gave him a sheepish grin, wiping under your eyes, “Sorry, it’s just, I’m so happy to see you.” 

Josh smiled tenderly and lifted a large hand to cup your cheek, “Oh darlin, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” 

Sighing softly you covered his hand with yours and stared up at him happily. “So what about Ellie? Did you go visit her?” you asked nervously. If Ellie ever found out her dad had been here and hadn’t visit her…things would end _very_ badly. 

Josh nodded, “I got the bike awhile ago and told your parents I was gonna ride up and see the east coast, go visit you girls. I saw her two days ago and then drove up here,” he told you. 

Nervously you asked, “How long can you stay?” 

He smiled softly and his thumb ran along your cheekbone tenderly, “Until you get sick of me darlin.” 

 

Your heart sang. 

As Josh unpacked and tossed some dirty laundry in your washer, you perched on the kitchen counter and regaled him with stories of your classes. 

He laughed loudly at your imitation of a professor who had both a southern accent and a bit of lisp, a deadly combination it turned out for the first row of seats. The lid of the washer clanged shut and Josh crossed the small kitchen to move between your legs, arms wrapping around your waist. 

Yours wound round his neck as he smiled softly, tenderly at you, eyes so full of emotion your heart thundered, wondering if after all this time, he was **finally** going to say _I love you._

“You’re incredible, you know that darlin?” he murmured instead, and your heart sank. 

Biting your lip to hide your disappointment, you nodded and smiled faintly, “Thanks. You hungry?” you asked, sliding out of his embrace and onto the floor once more to go get your phone, needing the distance for the moment.

“Yea, last thing I ate was shitty gas station food,” he called to you as you stood in your bathroom, staring down at your phone screen, vision blurring. 

The sound of his approaching footsteps startled you and you hastily wiped under your eyes, checking your face in the mirror before you emerged and smiled brightly, “Great, let’s get takeout and watch a movie,” you declared. 

Hands reaching out, he ensnared you in his grip and wound his arms around your waist, pulling you close. Grinning down at you, he nodded faintly, “Sounds great darlin,” he mused before he leaned in and kissed you, mouth firm against yours. 

Despite your emotional uncertainty, you responded. Still clutching your phone in one hand you rose on your toes to wrap your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss and moaning softly as his familiar taste filled your mouth. You parted slowly and with many lingering kisses until his stomach growled and you both laughed, his arms still around you as you scrolled through the delivery options until you decided on Indian. 

When the order had been placed you smiled softly up at him, “Why don’t you take a shower?” you suggested, “The food will be here by the time you’re done.” 

Josh smirked and his hands slid under your sweater, one moving down to palm your ass, “You don’t wanna join me?” he teased.

“Someone has to get the food when it gets here,” you reminded him with a little smile. He hesitated, and you began to worry that maybe he was picking up on your unsteady emotions so you smiled wider and leaned up to kiss him. 

Your lips were still close to his when you whispered “I have all night to take advantage of you baby,” and he made a low noise of pleasure, his hand squeezing your ass again. Smirking at him, you stepped away and pushed him towards the bathroom, “Go on, go relax,” you insisted. 

He smiled at you, but still looked a little uncertain so you nodded and waved a hand, “Shoo!” you teased, winking at him playfully. He laughed this time and when the bathroom door shut between you, your shoulders slumped.

Hurrying out to the kitchen, you leaned against the wall near the washer and buried your face in your hands, the loud thumping of the machine muffling your tears. 

Was this how it was always going to be? You yearning for his love, only to have it obliviously denied and withheld? After nearly two years together, you had thought he would at the very least _feel_ love for you; was it really so selfish to want to _hear_ it said? 

You felt it for him…should you just say it? 

* * *

As the hot water ran over my sore muscles, I pondered why I was alone in the shower. Normally an invitation like that wasn’t one she would turn down, especially given how long we had been apart.

Something seemed to be bothering her, despite her smiles and teasing, I knew my woman, and when she was upset and trying to hide it, the only place it showed was in her eyes. 

As the last of the soap ran down the drain my resolve to figure out what was wrong hardened. 

The last woman I had loved had been Ellie’s mom, and I wasn’t about to repeat the same mistakes I had made in that relationship when I was certain that this one would be the last I ever had.

* * *

You heard the shower turn off as you folded a load of laundry, your tears ended and face clear of any signs you had wept. A knock at the door alerted you to the arrival of the food and by the time Josh emerged in briefs and a t-shirt, you had laid out the containers so he could choose what he wanted. 

Soon you were cuddled together in your bed with trays on your laps, arguing playfully about whether you were going to watch a Danish tv show or an action movie. “Subtitles distract me,” Josh bemoaned jokingly, giving you a pleading look and you shook your head, scoffing at him.

“I’ve seen you work on three different computer screens at once writing two different codes, that shit doesn’t fly with me mister,” you murmured, starting an episode of the show with a laugh, ignoring his huff. 

Within twenty minutes he was engrossed, arms wrapped around your waist so he could whisper in your ear as things grew tense. When the episode ended you paused Netflix and slid out of bed to gather the trays, only to be stopped as he hurried out and grabbed them before you could. 

Leaning down, he kissed your lips lightly and grinned, “I got this darlin. You get comfy,” he ordered, casting a glance at your outfit. You hadn’t changed after you guys had gotten back and now that he said it, you were uncomfortable in your jeans. 

You could hear him doing dishes as you tugged your socks off, your jeans quickly following behind. When you were down to your Brazilian cut underwear, you pulled out a flannel button down from Josh’s bag and slid it on, lifting the collar so you could inhale the scent of him that clung to the worn fabric.

“Looks good on you.” Turning around, you found him leaning in the doorway, smiling as he stared at you.

 

You flushed and smiled shyly, “The one I have doesn’t smell like you anymore,” you admitted, running your fingers over the worn fabric slowly. He smiled softly and pressed off the door to walk slowly over to where you were, eyes warm. 

“You’ll just have to keep it then,” he mused, reaching out to hook his finger in the neckline and drag you closer a step so he could bend his head down and kiss you. As his tongue glided over yours, heat throbbed in your belly, growing as his large hands slid down your sides to cup your ass.

You gasped softly when his fingers curled around your thighs and hoisted you up so your legs wrapped around his waist, one of his hands on your hip and the other climbing up the back of his flannel to press you closer. 

His mouth was firm and demanding as he carried you to your bed, and even as he sank down against your pillows, his hands were steady. His mouth explored yours before trailing along your jaw, tongue darting out as he found the sensitive spot beneath your ear that never failed to make you shiver. 

Your answering moan was light, your fingers tangling in his shirt, holding on as sensation began to overwhelm you. His touch was light and nimble as he undid the few buttons you had managed to get done before he distracted you, and then with a nudge and a tug, it was gone. 

Tilting your head to give him better access, you sighed softly as his palm cupped the back of your neck, his other hand sliding up your waist to caress the underside of your breast.

His mouth trailed slowly over your skin, leaving marks behind like he loved to do, and as his lips closed around one of your nipples you moaned and arched into the sensation, hips rolling into him. 

You could feel his cock thickening beneath you and rolled your ass down into it again, growing wetter as you felt its thick length jutting into you as Josh rolled his hips in return. 

His tongue laved over the peak of your nipple, teasing it until it ached and then nipped at it, one of his hands pressing to your belly so he could feel the way your pussy contracted. 

Your heart thundered in your chest as he switched to your neglected breast, his free hand rolling the one he had left behind between his thumb and forefinger until you were panting and rolling your hips into his with needy little sounds. 

Your belly quivered under his palm as tiny little shivers of release went through your body–not enough…not nearly enough, and they never were. It was like asking for something sweet and someone giving you a sweet-tart instead. 

Good, but not quite what you wanted. 

To your surprise Josh paused and rolled you onto your back so he could strip off his clothes and your underwear before he sat back against the headboard and waved, “C’mere baby,” he murmured, voice raspy with desire. 

He took your hand as you rolled towards him and smiled softly as your thighs spread over his lap, your skin silky and soft against his. His free hand spread over the small of your back, his thumb tracing soft designs against your skin and you began to wonder why he was being so gentle and tender. 

Usually sex between you and Josh was passionate–which this was–but somewhat hurried, unless you had planned and met at a hotel where you could spend hours in each other’s arms. 

A large part of you hoped that it was because he loved you and was finally intent on expressing it. As he gazed up at you, he squeezed your hand where it was still entwined with his and leaned in to kiss you, his hand at the base of your spine drawing up slowly to tangle in your hair. 

You lifted your hips, needing him inside you, and gasped out against his mouth as you sank down slowly, the fat head of his cock swelling your opening before he slid inside.

Nipping at his lip, you whimpered and gasped as he filled you. No matter how many times you did this you never got used to how thick he was, how deeply he hit inside you. 

“You’re so _thick,”_ you gasped and he nodded abortively, sucking your bottom lip between his teeth as he rolled his hips into yours to slide his cock even deeper in. 

“You like it?” he rasped, “You like how I fill you?” 

Nodding wobblily, you rolled your hips, nails scoring down his chest as you rode him slowly. Sweat began to sheen on your chest as your bodies moved together in a rhythm as old as time, your shared moans and the wet slide of his cock into your pussy filled the room. 

His hand in your hair tugged and pulled you down for a kiss, both of you breathless and needy. Wrapping your arm around his shoulder, you pressed your bodies even closer together as your hips rolled and ground together. 

Josh slid his fingers from in your hair so he could band his arm around your waist, holding you to him tightly as he thrust into you harder. 

Pressing your forehead against his temple you breathed out, quietly begging for more. “Josh, please, make me come,” you rasped, breath hot against his skin. 

He groaned and nodded, releasing your hand so he could hold onto you as he shifted, lifting up his knees for your back to be supported against as he thrust harder, deeper. 

“Ohhhh, god Josh…more, please,” you moaned. 

His lips closed over your nipple as he began stroking your clit and it throbbed under his touch, shivers running over your skin. He shifted and as he did, began to stroke over that spot inside you that soon had you moaning loudly, thighs trembling as your release grew imminent. 

Josh panted and mouthed at your throat, painting a picture of his desire with his mouth, hands and teeth along your body. You could feel the marks he was leaving and it only made you want it, and him, more. 

“Gonna come baby,” he rasped near your ear and you moaned and nodded, burying your hands in his hair to drag his head up so you could kiss him. His fingers continued to rub at your clit as his thrusts grew uneven, his breath rasping against your lips.

You pulled away slightly and peered into his eyes, a shiver of fire running up your spine at the desire there and nodded to him, “Come on baby,” you whispered, using every last inch of your power to clench your pussy around him as he thrust. 

You could hear the wet suck as he tried to thrust, barely able to move through the tight fist of your pussy, his groan loud and long as his hips jerked abortively. His gaze was dazed as he stared into your eyes, his cum painting your pussy, his fingers stilled on your clit, your orgasm halted. 

You whimpered at the sensations, and he seemed to realize what had happened, his brow immediately furrowing in frustration and concern. 

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I’m sorry,” he murmured, running a soothing hand up and down your back as he began rubbing circles on your clit again, frowning when you whined and jerked, shaking your head negatively. 

“It’s…too much. Can you, use your mouth?” you asked, panting softly, peering at him hopefully. 

He nodded swiftly and carefully rolled you onto your back before pulling out with a soft apology, kissing his way down your body slowly before his head was between your legs. 

Gently he placed soft kisses to each thigh before he began licking at your pussy, cleaning up the mess he had made, his tongue soft on your sensitive folds. Sighing softly, you furrowed your fingers through his thick hair and closed your eyes, sinking into the sensation. 

Your chest was tight with a swirl of emotions; every moment in Josh’s arms was simultaneously torture and ecstasy. You had no idea if he would ever love you, but you didn’t know if you could let him go. 

You loved him. 

Pressure swelled in your chest and you fought tears as pleasure pulsed between your legs once more, the sweet heat spreading slowly. 

Josh’s tongue swirled into your pussy and you inhaled sharply, gasping his name. He lingered there until you were breathing heavily once more and moaning his name and then mouthed his way up, keeping his touches light as he made his way to your clit. 

Flicking over the little nub, he kept his tongue soft and languid, strokes long.

“Oh _god_ Josh…”

He hummed in satisfaction and teased a finger at your entrance, waiting to see your reaction before sliding it in, letting another join it when you moaned in pleasure. 

“I need…”

“I know baby, I know what you need,” he growled from between your legs. 

_No, I need **you** …please, love me…_

Carefully he curled them against that spot and flicked his tongue a little faster. It was all you needed; the pressure that had been building within you snapped and with a strangled cry of his name, you came. 

Throat so thick you could barely breath, you threw an arm over your face to hide your growing sorrow, and the tears gathering in your eyes. 

Your thighs trembled as your release coated his fingers and Josh eagerly licked your clit and pussy until you were clean and a little tender. As he climbed back up your body you shivered and he tugged at your arm covering your face, “Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked, concern coloring his voice. 

You shook your head but he wasn’t deterred, long fingers wrapping around your wrist so he could apply light pressure, “Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked again, voice firmer this time, “What did I do?”

At this you couldn’t hold back your tears and let out a soft sob, chest hitching as you tried to keep your tears under control. Josh cursed softly and released you so he could pull you into his arms, your head cradled against his chest, body nestled in his lap. 

The tenderness of the move only served to make you cry harder and worry Josh more. His hands rubbed soothingly over your back and arms, across your thigh and hip, one caressing the back of your head–seemingly he hoped that somehow he could calm you if he just held you long enough. 

Eventually it sort of worked and your tears began to slow. As they did he pulled away slightly to peer down at you, frowning, “Will you tell me what that was about now?” he asked softly. 

This was your choice. 

Either tell him, or lie. 

Swallowing hard, you looked up into his worried dark eyes and nodded. 

“You’ve never told me you love me,” you whispered, watching as shock and then sorrow flitted over his face. “I don’t…I don’t know if you do love me, or if you ever will, but we’ve been together for nearly two years. I thought,” you hesitated and then continued, “I thought you would know by now,” you admitted. 

Josh stared down at you, dark eyes warm and affectionate and he lifted a hand to stroke your cheek. 

“I’m sorry darlin. I should have said something a long time ago. I just, the last woman I loved was Ellie’s mom and we made a lot of mistakes together. _I_ made a lot of mistakes, ones I don’t plan on repeating with you,” he admitted. 

Your heart clenched hopefully and you sat up a little, “Does that mean…” you trailed off.

Josh grinned and leaned in to kiss you softly, sweetly, lovingly. His lips were brushing yours, gaze on yours as he whispered, “I love you darlin. Always have, always will.”

A hitching little gasp left your chest and you wound your fingers through his hair as you kissed him again, heart pounding in your chest. 

“I love you too,” you whispered back. “Always have, always will.”


End file.
